Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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