I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
