And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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