my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
