you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
