I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize