Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
