meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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