the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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