there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
