We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Let's get the cat blown out
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
