I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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