were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
