So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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