You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
