If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize
