Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
