I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
