You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
