I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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