If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
