I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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