he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
