he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
