Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
