whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
