This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They took my balls.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
