Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
