Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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