you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
