I have demons in me.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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