OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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