We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
