I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize