I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
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Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
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I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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