shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
