dude you need to get laid
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.