Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
