You don't have asthma, your pregnant
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
