So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
