then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
