Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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