White coat. Heels.
My balls are so social today.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
this just has baby written all over it
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
