i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
