I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
