Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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