i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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