I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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