pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
