Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
