i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
