Is it normal to miss your booty call?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
