Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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