Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
