Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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