sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
soo... how was my night?
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