Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
