i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
