I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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