You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
