I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize